he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize