Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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