I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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