I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
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We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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