you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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