We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize