i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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