i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize