Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize