Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize