I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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