He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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