she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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