Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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