Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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