You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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