Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize