So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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