That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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