Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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