youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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