I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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