Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize