In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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