I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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