I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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