Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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