Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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