Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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