I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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