My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize