He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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