i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize