You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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