pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
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I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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