he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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