If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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