So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize