so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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