Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize