He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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