Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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