He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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