I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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