I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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