i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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