I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize