All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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