wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize