tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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